September 23, 2011
Hi Al – I’m glad that you took the time to write this story. I would like to modify it slightly. Here is my edited version – please replace the original version with this one. Again, I am glad you did the original write up and I am proud to know you are able to use this write up as a means to help you continue helping others. So that you know how I feel, I owe you a debt that can never be repaid. Understand that I think of you often and still can’t believe how lucky I am to have met you – – and how lucky I am to have met my biological mother.
Dave C. – An Adoption Reunion Story With A Very Happy Ending
During the Fall of2008 while I was working on a geneaology project I attended a seminar at the New England Historical Genealogical Society on Newbury Street in Boston where I met a gentleman named Dave Crowley. We were both attending an all day workshop Irish family research sponsored by The Irish Ancestral Research Association (TIARA). As it ends up, Dave sat in the empty chair next to me – likely fate was staring right at the both of us that day. We began chatting when the mid-morning coffee break occurred. Throughout the day we talked about our common interests in family research and I gave him one of my business cards when the seminar ended. Upon examining my business card, Dave asked what was meant by the reference on “Adoption Reunions” and “Adoption Research”.the type of research that I did.
He explained to me that he had been adopted and had been told that he was born in Boston. I asked Dave if he had done any research on his birth parents, he responded by indicating that he had thought about looking for his biological parents but had not followed through on it. I informed Dave that there was a new law in Massachusetts that was passed in December of 2007 which made it easier to get information on his adoption records and what he could do if he decided to search for his parents. Little did I know that more than a year would pass before I heard from Dave again.
Out of the blue, I received a phone call from Dave on a cold blustery winter afternoon in January 2010. As he spoke, he explained that he had gone ahead and took the first step – he went to the Dept of Vital Statistics near Columbia Road in Dorchester and had obtained a copy of his original birth certificate.
Initially, he admitted that he has sat on the idea and dwelled on it for months. Dave thanked me for guiding him, he had gone ahead and had done what I had described to him at the seminar on Newbury Street. Dave explained that he had done some research with the names on his birth certificate but he had reached a stalemate with his research. He had a list of potential family names that he needed some advice as to figuring out who was who.
A short time after that phone call we met at my office and he gave me his list to sort through. I took a few weeks to do some research. A short time later I reconnected with Dave back at my office and confirmed that he had in fact found names that were actual relatives of his biological family. Dave asked for advice as to where to go from there. I gave Dave several possible scenarios on how adoptees reunite once factual information is known on a biological family member.
This is always an unscripted decision – a personal decision, an important decision for anyone in search for their biological parents. Dave thanked me for my guidance and departed my office that afternoon with my not knowing whether or not he would pursue the trail he was on.
In October of 2010, I received another call from Dave. He asked me if he could meet me at my office in Marshfield. He said he had a story to tell me and he wanted to do this in person. We met a few days later and he told me the story about his meeting his biological mother. More than two years after we initially met, Dave sat before me offering stunning details that included an emotional reunion where he found his mother and that he had many, many other extended family members. He was quite happy with his results and so were his new found family members!